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The Colbert Report/Episode/564
Production Info |- |} |- |} Intro SEGMENT1 * Dr. Colbert lead his mob in a cheer of USA, USA to start the show * he is hopping mad ** he doesnt expect alot from th rest of the world *** live up to our ideals; keep supplying cheap tube socks * Saudi Arabia wants journalists to report only on Obama ** first time they warned someone before they arrested them * what friends do * Dr. Colbert is worried about Jon and Kate SEGMENT2 * no such thing as a medical miracle * Cheating Death * Dsiclaimer: not a medical doctor wh he is in the operating theater * brought to you by prescott ** makers of the first heart worm pill for animal-man hybrids ** and animal-man hybrids DIET * cheerios marketing themselves as ** addicts turn to trix * Prescott is going after cereal market: Pilli-O's * Tony the doctor: one spoonful, you'll agree with Tony's catch phrase: ??? * side effects: ** opposable spleen ** achy breaky back ** foghorn leghorns * potassium levels to plummet ** decrease muscle ** paralysis * Dr. Colbert is worried ** 2400 ounce Big Gulp * Prescott Department of Cola & Industrial Solvents, presents: Twitch ** produces uncontrollable muscle spasms * side effects ** vigilant kidney ** pezneck ** mahmoud ahmedinejaw OPRAH * no cure for prolonged stedman ** Newsweek cover, "Oprah, Crazy talk & You" * Suzanne Sommers follows apple-a-day advice * criticizes Oprah audience ** psychological problems solved by the use of a douche * physiological addiction to Oprah **Methad-O, exactly like nmethadone, but spelled differently ** for mild sympstoms: use Tyradol * side effects: ** mock turle neck ** delusions of grandma ** ??? * always spay or noodle; it;'s kinda fun SEGMENT3 * Stephen is a huge supporter of pharmaceutical magicians * Jim Moran introduced a bill that would ban erectile dysfunction ads between 6 a.m. 10 p.m. ** if it lasts longer than four hours, it is a sporting event * Dr. Colbert clashed with Moran before Interview * Katty Kay ** book: Womenomics:Write Your Own Rules for Success * Dr. Colbert's guest has written a book about women shower in the workplace empowering women in the workplace * nutmeat can be said * all he had time for was read the title of the book ** it's all he will ever read * companies who employ more women in executive positions make more money * women want balance in companies * not a feminist diatribe ** like men, want them around * he is flattered that women will perform for men * women no longer have to choose ** baby buggy on a cliff big job * terrible mother of the year * she admits she is a feminist ** wore shoulder pads ** worked 60 hours a week * she works for the BBC * Stephen wants her job ** white middle age men, like Stephen, are being held down and losing jobs to the elite, like women * her book is also a diet book ** claims it will change your life (even though Stephen isn't a woman) Epilogue * Dr. Colbert is honest when he says the audience is the best one of the night Gallery File: File: File: File: File: File: File: File: File: File: Official Truthy Videos * Colbert Nation Home Tube External Tubes *Link Title *Link Title Reviews and Comments